


morning glory

by teecups



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, PTSD, free form writing, in which Jake muses about his life pre and post sburb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-12
Updated: 2013-02-12
Packaged: 2017-11-29 02:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/681900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teecups/pseuds/teecups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you remember a time when you were kids and the world was strange but it was yours</p>
<p>it was yours and you fought for it</p>
            </blockquote>





	morning glory

 

 

 

 

you think there's beauty in his madness

in the way he hoards screws and scraps of metal

in the angle of his jaw and the faint lines in his smile

he may be mad but he's beautiful

like a cool night like the sun at dawn

and he's

(somehow)

yours

 

 

he works late most nights, hunched over his workspace, long fingers fiddling with one of many projects

lets stress wind him tight until he can't breathe

shoulders tense back aching head pounding

gritted teeth muttered exclaimations

you slip into his room and work the coils loose with the tips of your fingers

watch as he comes undone by your hands,

head rolling back in bliss

he kisses you and you smile, breathing in seasalt and ocean from his earlier swim

(he's yours and

 it's amazing)

 

 

sometimes you rest your chin in your hand and watch the line of sun set his hair afire

he is a phoenix, shedding the last traces of ash

muscles shift under skin and you shiver because you've seen under that too

suddenly you're reminded of how fragile he is

the many times you've almost lost him

and when you fit yourself against his side like a puzzle piece he only pulls you closer

 

 

its been

five years since you saved the world without a thank you

thrown back into a life that died without a passing glance

you stuck together because you needed to

like puzzle pieces you exist for each other

needed him to lean on when the dreams got worse

needed you to put himself together when his scars came apart

 

 

you vaguely remember dark nights and twisted memories

remember him shaking you awake and holding you close

whispering nonsense carding fingers through your hair

 

(alternatively

you remember a night when you found him in the bathtub

freezing water and unresponsive to your calls

you climbed in with him and clutched him to you until his pulse reappeared

cried with him

ignored the colour of the water)

 

 

the night he kissed you, you dreamt about a black hole that took the world with it

he became the sun that burned it away

became the heart that stole your own

 

 

he is the tin man that melted when he got too close to the flame

let it swallow him entirely

(he was already lost)

and reforged himself instead of ceasing to exist

learned and became himself through

the motions of his own hand

the gentle twist of his fingers and the sparks of his thoughts

he is everything you wished you could ever be

and everything you never were

 

 

you're not sure what you were before but

you doubt you were that graceful

you are more like a weed,

existing to exist

living because you had to

living because if you didn't, who would?

she died too young and  left you a promise in the form of an island and a game

you survived to play

survived because somewhere was a better life and she wanted it for you

even if you had to experience hell first

you are the twisted vine that grows in the brambles,

breathing through rock and mud and sand to exist

to find a better world out there, somehow

away from the terrors of the world

away from the fear of death

away from the white beasts lurking at your window

 

 

he is the sun and you are the vine and

you exist together

but sometimes you wonder if one day

he'll burn too hot and

you will wither

 

 

sometimes you wake to watch the new day come

watch hazy orange streaming through the blinds

sit at the kitchen counter and

remember a time when you never knew how amazing life was

remember a time when you were kids and the world was strange but it was yours

it was yours and you fought for it

but the tangled rope of the illusion began to fray

and you found yourself dying in a flash of light

being reborn in paradox space

becoming gods, somehow

the dream broke and you found yourself not a day older

sprawled in bed, sheets around your ankles

staring at your ceiling and the ( _familiar?_ ) posters

you survived but

it never felt like 

"home"

again

never felt safe

 

 

you found yourself waiting on a disk that would change your life again

(lost track of time, of people

lived in your world of white monsters and green green green)

(they didn't need you didn't want you--

why does your computer keep beeping _shut up_ )

believed that this was another world you were meant to destroy

and recreate

and destroy

(your friends were pieces to the puzzle but they never quite fit--)

 

 

in time you got a package

dropped onto the island by a plane

(you had forgotten they existed)

 

 

inside was a transportalizer and a tear stained letter

( _-god, I don't know if you'll get this but_

_the instructions are in the box put it together I know you can do it_

_please Jake_

_we need you Roxy said she saw you online I know you're there_

_please come back to us please please please_

_I_ _love you_ ** _-_** )

 

 

there are lips on your neck and

you're not entirely sure when he woke up

but light has invaded the room and there are warm hands around your waist

he knows you too well

knows when you get lost in memories lost in things you should have done

times when you should have said sorry and times when you didn't

(they overlap

more than you'd like to admit)

 

and when his arms come to rest around your hipbones

hands resting against skin

against old scars new dreams and a heart that beats

that's when you find home

home is in his arms

home is with him

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I have this headcanon that jake wakes up alone on his island after they win and gets this idea that he's just waiting on another version of sburb to play so he distances himself to try and stop it from happening but alas they won so no worries jakey boy go make out w/ ur boyfrand
> 
> I'm not entirely sure how this came about because I rarely write anymore (inspiration comes rarely) but yes this happened woohoo


End file.
